I have a condom in my purse.”What the... “Hey, Josh. It’s me. I was waiting for a taxi when your friends, Steve and Tim, happen to drive by. Say...‘Hi’, guys.’‘Hey, Josh!’ It was Steve.‘Dude, your mom’s wasted.’ That was Tim.‘They’re kidding, Josh. I’m perfectly fine. I should be home soon.Love you.Bye.’”It was a video.“What are you doing?” It was his friend, Steve’s voice.The shot opened with his mom looking at the camera. Her eyes were glassy, and she was clearly drunk, and naked, and bouncing. It had been the previous summer, the day before Martin started university. We had been in his bedroom, stark naked and jacking off, when the bedroom door had opened and Esme had walked in. She had obviously just got out of the bath and was wrapped in a towel. Martin had yelled at her, and she literally jumped in shock and dropped her towel. For a long moment we were like rabbits caught in the headlights; and then Esme squealed and ran out of the room, leaving her towel behind. I didn’t know why. We kept walking as they started walking toward us. They both appeared to be about 40 with full-body tans and zero pubic hair. The lady said, “Hello. We were just about to cool off in the water. Care to join us?”We tossed our towels on the dry sand and headed to the water. Now only knee-deep, the lady greeted Rick with a full-body hug with, “I’m Nan; pleased to meet you.”“I’m Rick. This is ... uh ... unexpected.”Nan continued her hug as Nan’s friend pulled Fran and me into a tight hug. “I’m. And if everything wasn't done correctly I'd get a stern lecture.Guess about the only good thing about being homeschooled was that if Ijust wanted to wear my pajamas around the house all day, I could.Had a real argument with Mom last night. To begin with she wasn't happywith the schoolwork I had done that day - well, she had told me towrite a 2-page essay on the causes of the Civil War - she hadn't toldme that I couldn't double-space it. And then she got mad because I wasplaying Grand Theft Auto.
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