"You're going to mess up your sleep schedule." I have no excuse, ma'am," I said."Smartass," Mom said."Agnes, Agnes," Aunt Kate said in a rueful tone.M...m thumbed her nose at her and then grinned. She said to me, "I hope you aren't going to go around like a tranquilized sloth all evening." Why's that?" Mrs. Kennedy invited us all over for dessert later. I told her that there were seven of us, plus two more for company, and convinced her that the three of them should come here instead."I was. I smiled at my mother all day long and then my f******n-year-old birthday party started. It seemed strange that just my parents, Mom’s sister, and Dad’s two sisters were the only guests.Dad kept going out back to tend to the barbecue. We were having chicken and Dad was trying to cook them like the local fire department does. So every few minutes he came in to check on us and then run right back out.Meanwhile, whenever Dad was not in the house, the four women would talk about sex. They talked to. "Roger, patrol 6. How many individuals are we talking about?" Central asked casually."I count twenty individuals some of whom are armed, Central," I informed them."Twenty!! How in the world can you have them detained?" Central wanted to know."Magic!" was all that I said over the air."Oh! Are you the new guy?" Central asked, more interested now."Yes, that's me. The new guy." We'll send two vans to transport them and notify the police. They will be interested in the ones with weapons," Central. "Dad sat forward placing his elbows on knees and clasping his hands."We are trying to protect you. We're not mad at you-" What? He slept with a grown woman!"Dad twisted towards Mom towards and held up both hands shushing her.Mom eyes were shooting lightning at him."I will not be quiet. He's my son and I'm damn well going to get to the bottom of this. Some slut-I exploded."DON"T CALL HER THAT!"My parents heads snapped toward me, their eyes wide and mouths opened. My finger was steady as I.
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