I know that now. Yes, you slid on us, but I’m still here, and I’m trying to hold you from falling as much as you are fighting to stay here. Don’... beat yourself up.’ ‘But…we are not…together. I mean, you have this place and I have my place and our home is…empty. I’m empty. I need you in my life John. Without you I’m…nothing.’ My heart was thrashing. I hugged her close to me, holding her as she began to cry. I felt bad for her. I know that some men would have walked already. I know that some men. "Why?" We're in Santa Barbara. My aunt died yesterday." Oh, Jill, I'm sorry." We were kind of expecting it. She was 92 years old and has been in a nursing home for the last seven years. She hasn't been herself since she fell and broke her hip last spring." So, how long are you going to be in Santa Barbara?" We're driving back tomorrow. The funeral was today. She had everything arranged and we were the only family so we pushed everything through. If you don't mind going to a Highpoint game, we. Ellie still filled my most every thought after two years. She was in my heart and soul. I had never loved anyone so much in my life. Many nights I found myself sitting up in the darkness crying for her.I was lucky if I slept for an hour before getting back up to return to my office. The one good thing was, my company was now one of the biggest in the state and I made sure to give all the workers lots of raises to show how much they were needed.The only good thing that happened in the last year. "So, do us Santa Rosans root for the Giants?" I asked, nodding at the game. The San Francisco Giants were playing the Cincinnati Reds at Candlestick Park – excuse me AT&T Park, as the TV broadcast reminded me."We do," most of us," Ken told me. "A lot of Santa Rosans are from someplace else, so they also root for the home team of wherever they're from, but for the most part we're Giants fans. Not looking good for us so far today, though. Our ace Lincecum is pitching but we're already down 3-zip.
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