He smiled at Sara. ‘What?’ she asked. ‘It’s good you’re in love with her.’ She looked at him quizzically. ‘I don’t understand…’ �...You need to love her. A mistress needs to love her slave, otherwise this is just all play. This is my life and how I want to live. I want to live a reality, not a fantasy.’ ‘I thought you’d be angry for falling in love with her.’ ‘Do you still love me?’ he asked her. Sara’s hesitation was only because of her confusion, not because she wasn’t sure of the answer. ‘Yes.. With the sweater pulled down onto her hips as far as it would stretch, the combination did look a little like something the thinner, fashionable women might wear. It would seem odd for her typical geek style and get looks, but it would pass for now. She was about to head towards the side room to re-examine the chair when she caught sight of herself in the Victorian standing mirror she had borrowed from ‘not suitable for display’ storage. She loved the lewd little cherubs carved into the dark. It’s Reyna watching over Carl and me, watching him try to make love to me like a moron, and she’s laughing. Reyna’s laughing at me; I know she is.I shut my eyes. She’s not here. She’s not in my head. She doesn’t control me. She isn’t going to win.I open my eyes. Carl is staring at me. My bra is off, and my hands are covering my tits. Shit. What happened?“You okay?” he asks. The concern in his voice is genuine.“Yeah. I’m fine.”“You sure? You went somewhere in your head there.”“Yeah.”“What were. I raised you as a son. I tried to hold off the day when the finaldecision would be made, whether to be a girl or a boy. The operationwould be bloody and risky, especially for a young child, So I kept onpostponing it. Liz wanted me to let you know, and make a choice earlyon, but I kept remembering my husband's smile, and how much it had meantto him to have his, "little Butch", I was also lonely for him, and usedyou and your name and your supposed masculinity as a substitute, alittle Butch to.
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