When the entire focus of a relationship is what he can do for me, it isn’t possible to develop feelings for someone who is, essentially, a tool. Add...ng the concepts of what can I do for him and can I care for him, it’s not clear you can have one without the other. Nonetheless, Etienne was not someone I cared for. He was too far behind to ever catch up to Jeff. If somehow Jeff had not been a part of my life, Etienne would have made a perfectly acceptable husband. He would cheat on me, he was. It was a start up and I was doing my friend a huge favor. I had consented after much pleading when he ‘sweetened’ the deal with a free apartment on the beach. I knew it would be hot in July, but never as hot as it was. The humidity was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I also knew that I had no other friends in Florida , so I brought along my own entertainment in the form of a couple of porn videos in their colorful boxes. I was pleasantly surprised with the apartment. It really was. Just then a server arrived with our starter soup.We ate in silence and I feared the rest of the evening would continue this way. Mom ate without looking up, her face bright red and looking very pissed.Before the soup was gone she looks up slowly and asks in a forced calm, “When did this start? Was it something I did?”I looked at her for a second before responding, taking a deep breath, “It was before puberty actually. I remember seeing you in your skirts and nylons and thinking how nice your. I exclaimed to the others: “This is fantastic!” They all laughed. That won them over. I had luckily chosen the rebels’ table. As we all talked I felt Kelly’s foot underneath, running along my calf. I didn’t let on but I felt my face flush hot.Mary Elizabeth taught our first class. The goal was hetero-celibacy and the Bible was basically our textbook. Once she said something like: “I know it isn’t easy. You can’t simply wave a magic wand.” A few of the girls burst into giggles. She.
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