But that was a sin, too, and after a while it might not be enough. I had to stop everything. It was easy to say that now, when I was still shaken up, ...ut what about tomorrow? And the next day? And all the long years ahead until I married Eddie, or somebody else?The thing was, I loved sex, and I wasn’t allowed to. At least not yet.Mom stuck her head in the door, checking up on me again. This time she liked what she saw.“Oh, she’s saying her prayers,” she said, and she left again.Finally, I said. Yes, I want Pappa to make love to me, take my virginity, and make me a whole woman. I was going to try to seduce him later today while mom’s working. There go those plans out the window. Momma, will you and Pappa help me tonight? I know what to expect, but I’ve also talked to other girls and it sounds frightful. I’d like both of you to help. And, yes, momma, I know what it’s like to make love to girls!” I looked at Jane and back to Sarah. Jane looked at both of us, mouth open in surprise, and. In those days we didn’t cover up in any way. There I was naked as a jaybird amid six older boys. Having never been naked with anybody but my brother I was naturally interested in what was sported between my teammate’s legs. Trying to be discrete I always worried that someone might notice me staring at other boys’ cocks.At the time there wasn’t a lot of talk about homosexuality, any gawking was considered mere curiosity. But I got the feeling that the other boys were spending more time gawking. Millie was loathe to question her mistress about this mystery and she spent her idle time patiently wondering whether any of the other women would deign to talk to her. Servants were never invited to these social events. After an interminable duration there was a knock on their door and Abigail and Millie jumped to their feet. Abigail smirked at Millie and then winked. Wondering what was going on, Millie opened the door and was shocked to see Jacob standing before her in his freshly repaired.
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