But mention the topic of death or dying...! On atleast two occasions in my life I have had friends who knew that they werepresently going to die. I ...ould like to have addressed this with them, ifI could, but the conventions forbade it. People wonder how it feels toknow you're presently going to die, but that's something you don't ask. But now that I am facing my own imminent extinction I'm going totalk about it, & the conventions be damned. I have been diagnosed with anessentially incurable. In his younger years, I am guessing that many women would have found him attractive. I have always thought that nature gives some men their good looks and charm quite unearned, but there is something more compelling about a man like TJ who makes the most of what he is given. TJ as often told me that I am smart and pretty. He is not trying to flatter me, but is just being honest and straight-forward. When I challenge him on this, telling him that he is just saying that to be nice, he just flatly. " I trailed off as I started crying.I needed to pull myself together. Maybe I could change my own mind,just like I could with other people. I needed to be strong, to notcare. I tried pushing a thought to myself ~This doesn't bother me.~ andsuddenly it was true. I still knew what happened, I was still angry atthe betrayal, but the pain that had been coursing through my body wasgone. I needed to teach her a lesson.I spoke to her, pushing the thoughts into her mind. "Jane, I love you.I always have. This is your first kick at the cat. Next time you will do better. You have an entourage now. Use them. Remember, Angel’s job is to do yours in your absence. Give her your authority and have her conduct interviews on her own. Emery’s job is to do Angel’s in her absence. Hence her job is also to do yours when needed. Use her as well. Once the meetings are over, come together and discuss before making decisions, then call back whomever you have to, or if the changes need to be addressed with all.
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